the old and the beautiful

i just came back from a visit to 'the home' and i know i've aged 5 years these last 2 weeks. now i almost look my age. haha.

and here's the dialogue from last night's visit to books-a-million:

girl -'jason, can you take her (me) back to the beauty section?'

jason -'yeah, send the ugliest person here to the beauty section'

me -'me?'

jason -'no! not even close! in fact, you're the farthest thing from ugly'

me -'trust me, i know ugly'

jason -'i'm sorry, but i can't imagine you having ever been ugly'

me -'thanks' (trying to get the shaved wookie to leave me alone)

then i realized my blouse was being a floozy.

nice.

and today i was forced to look at a questionable stain in my oma's panties.

while she was wearing them.

and sitting on the toilet.

lord, help me.