a bad anniversary and a weird movie

everyone remembers their first love...

this past week marked the fifth anniversary of ben's death. and the second anniversary of me finding out about his death. i don't know which part was worse. well, yeah, i know which is worse. next month he would be 32. and that's all i'm going to say.



tonight, i watched a movie. 'year of the dog'. it starred molly shannon and also that really ugly guy from ricky bobby. it was weird. it was sad. it was strange. and it ended with not much of a good, hopeful ending. there was no romantic or petmantic (work with me) solution by the end. and there was a lot of stuff left to wonder about that was slightly referred to, but not addressed by the film. boring stuff, like her arrest, therapy, etc.


as opposed to 'must love dogs', a more commercial, formulaic, romantic comedy that really works and ends good. who doesn't like john cusack?


so my pick stays with feel good slightly more mass audience friendly. sorry, this does not apply to all movies, just to sad, depressing movies that have a very small target audience. i was already a little lonely and depressed. i don't need to watch a movie that amplifies those feelings. i need one that makes me feel a little better at the end. a good cry, not a confused, sort of sad cry.