wow

i've been waiting for 1 1/2 months for new carpet. it is being installed as i type. yesterday, my washing machine broke and flooded 1/3 of my house. this is my life. Merry Christmas.

bear with me

i'm not feeling well. sorry.

a new endeavor...

have you ever read an entire book while you were at barnes & noble? i have a few times. don't get me wrong, it wasn't war and peace or some other endless tome. i recently came across a book while with my sis. we both read the entire thing and laughed heartily. i was back this evening and decided that i needed to purchase said book and pass its goodness on to you, my loyal readers. [both of you]
it is:
i am neurotic (and so are you)
by lianna kong

kong compiled a list of neurotic tendencies that people entered on her site: iamneurotic.com

and i am here to share some of them, a little at a time, with you. i may interject some neuroses of my own, but i might not tell you which. i thoroughly encourage you to add your own or if you find someone else experiences the same thing you do, comment on the likeness. i love to see that we all share some neuroses.

so here is segment #1

food

food on my plate cannot touch other food. any part that has touched has to be placed to the side on the plate and not eaten.i consider it contaminated.

i am very picky about my chocolate chip cookies. i'll separate the batter into forty-eight tablespoon balls, and then add twelve chocolate chips to each ball. they are much tastier with the perfect number of chocolate chips.

i have precisely 20 nuts every morning before 11:00. these are counted out of the packet individually using a homemade cardboard nut counter, which consists of 5 rows or 4 equally marked-out squares.

i can only eat the middle of foods, like chips, eggs, or sandwiches. i leave all the crusts in a perfect form so they make up the shape again.

i hate tomatoes. yet whenever i order a sandwich, i deliberately order it with tomatoes and then pick them off. this way i keep what i call the 'essence of tomato'. i don't like sandwiches that don't have the essence.

hair!

the last time i cut my hair was feb '08. so here's the evolution that got me where i am now...

spring '08

feb '09

spring '09

oct '09

nov '09

look, no teeth! or lip gloss. au natural. like the scarf?

something from the heart

i recently came to terms with something in my life and am actively seeking to treat it. i've known my whole life that i come from a family in which depression is hereditary. but now i'm tracing through and finding that anxiety/anxiety attacks are also part of the smorgasbord of fun. (mom, i just want you to know that i spelled that right first time.) i knew that depression and anxiety are linked, but only quite recently inquired as to our family history with the latter. it appears that anxiety is, in fact, part of the mix. i have been experiencing something similar to cameron diaz's 'the holiday' character's "esophageal spasms". well, that's what it feels like anyway. hers are brought on by stress. mine are brought on by who knows. one sunday, we're worshipping in church and everything is great, suddenly i have an urge to escape to the empty hallway and gulp water because my heart is beating thickly in my throat. i wasn't experiencing anything emotional, or even thinking about anything other than the words of the song, but there i was, pawing at my throat trying to force my heart back down into my chest. i have acquired 'bach's flower remedies - rescue remedy'. it contains the essences of 5 different flowers that treats 5 different emotional or mental (yes, i'm completely mental) symptoms. i take 4 drops in a small glass of water twice a day. it appears to be working. and for whatever reason that is: real, placebo, or otherwise; it still cost me less than one doctor's visit in which she would probably put me on some synthetic chemical that would harm my body and turn me into a zombie. i know that depression and anxiety are real, chemical problems, and i don't take that lightly. i also don't believe that drugs are the answer for everyone. if you struggle with being bipolar or need to take anti-psychotic drugs, by all means, stay on them. but i fully believe that God doesn't want me to be substance-dependent. He created the plants and flowers and herbs that all manner of hippie-dippy, organic, granola-folk rely on to treat illness. i use those terms facetiously - i don't really feel that way about most of them (sure, some are crazy). why are people so leery of 'God's medicine' (natural), but will totally pop anything their doctor throws at them (unnatural)?

i'm just saying.

so now i come to terms with learning a little more about who i am. playing with the cards i'm dealt.

party pics

so glad to be poor

i watched the nanny diaries yesterday. i had never seen it. it made me so glad to be in the family i'm in. raised by my own, loving parents. without a nanny (or a trust fund). so scarlett johansen isn't my favorite actress, but it was still a good movie. it really made me appreciate the life i have, and realize that 'deficits' can actually be positive things. children are for cherishing, not passing off onto someone else.

oh yeah...

if there's anything i hate, it's a zombie

party #1 was on friday and i didn't want to have a repeat with the costume situation, so i threw together a corpse bride number.
step 1: makeup

bare face with lots of moisturizer in preparation for the loads of crap i'm about to slather on. i love this eyeliner-lashes look so much, i want to do it all the time. i can hear tink screaming, "don't do it!!!"

i custom mixed a light foundation with some shimmery white powder to get this ghastly pale look. i mixed moisturizer with some eyeshadow to do my hollowed eyes and cheeks.

step 2: get into character

"now give me the milk!"

step 3: get dressed

i wore a dyed wedding dress, black cherry lipstick, and a centipede spirit gummed to my neck.

viola! i was so lucky my friend had a wedding dress that fit me perfectly.

my recipe for non-dairy cheese

non-dairy? yes. is it soy-based? no. the recipe is as follows:
start with plain almond breeze (almond milk)
pour into a cup and serve to 4 year-old
12 hours later (once children are in bed, and the house is quiet, and you can think) clear dishes off table
realize that your 9 year-old neglected to unload the dishwasher
realize that you are exhausted
place dishes in sink
leave for 36 hours
stop waiting for someone else to empty dishwasher and do it yourself
load dishwasher
discover almond cheese in a plastic cup

viola!
non-dairy, almond cheese.

spread on crackers, serve with vienna sausages

wishing you hadn't

i saw that bram stoker's dracula was coming on last week, so i dvr'd it. the weekend went by and i finally watched it yesterday. i don't think i ever really watched the whole thing. hmmm. maybe there was a reason for that. i felt like poo afterwards. i want to clearly state, however, that i have no problem with keanu reeves. it wasn't any of the actors, just that i'm not into horror that much. action is fine. i love van helsing. (well, hugh jackman) so anyway. i'd much rather watch nosferatu, which i felt was much scarier. i think the unknown is scarier than a monster you can see.
i'm working on my costume for this friday. not to be confused with my costume for next friday. that's right, this year i have TWO costumes. two parties, two costumes.

and something else

my victorian vampire necklace of pearls with thin black ribbon tied between each pearl and a lovely brooch i snagged for $3 at a cookie lee sale. i also replaced the fastener on the pearls with a magnetic clasp.

finished projects

here's my finished and varnished sushi necklace.

and my completed cake earrings.

i am so livid at my old dentist and at overstock.com.

NEVER, NEVER, NEVER ORDER ANYTHING FROM THE IDIOTS AT OVERSTOCK.COM!!!!

HOW CAN A COMPANY SEND YOU THE WRONG THING 3 TIMES??

spectacles, mr. magoo!

i need new glasses soon. i haven't had a new prescription in over 5 years. new contacts, yes. frames are stinking expensive for nice ones. these prada frames go for $200 on an eyeglass webstore. however, i am now the proud owner of these for about $50 on ebay.
ebay really has never disappointed me.

trying my hand at minis

so after looking at all the polymer minis of food, i decided to try my hand at it.

i didn't think i could duplicate the moist, cakey texture, but i figured out the secret. i'm very excited about the result.

cake was not enough, so i tried sushi. i know my sushi paper is too thick. a mistake i won't make next time. i think it still came out alright and my wasabi and ginger look good. i think i'll rework the salmon.

another great blog

http://sweetbfolkart.blogspot.com

this blog has adorable halloween decorations made by the blogger. really great stuff! check her out!

fun, fun

just cruising etsy and various blogs and websites for fresh inspiration. check out the new guy blog in my following section. he has fab ideas for halloween decorating! if everyone tried one of his virtually free projects and mailed it to me, i'd be all set. there might be a lovely bar of all-natural, hand-made soap in it for you!!!

ginger, white tea, ginger/white tea, mango/mandarin, fresh grass, mango/mandarin/ginger

let me know what you like!

i've become that mom

4th grade means state project.

i remember doing my florida report in the 4th grade. back in those days, my teacher had to copy large amounts of text on the blackboard and we had to copy it on notebook paper to insert into our folders. if you didn't copy it down in the time allotted: incomplete.

then, a beka books introduced these florida project books. you just fill in writing, insert pictures... easy way out if you ask me. i remember writing letters to chambers of commerce all over the state to get brochures. i had to draw a chickee hut and a sabal palm. this was all back in the day when you addressed your envelope 'Pompano Beach, Fla. 33064'. yeah, not this 2 letter state abbreviation. it was Fla. and we memorized all 50 state abbreviations that way. which is probably why it is still hard for me to distinguish between MA, ME, MN, MS, MO and MI.

now dot has to do her state report. which means i have to do the state report. i got wal-mart photo to print out pics of all the state symbols. who knew we had so many? state insect?? i nicely adhered the pics to the papers (she is to fill out) with scrapbooking brads instead of glue. i didn't do it perfectly, however, it has to look like a 9 year-old did it, right? i used the avery template to print out the labels for the chapter dividers. cute font! then i made a lovely layout for the cover with the appropriate information and a great picture of dot at the medieval faire.

chapter 1 is due in less than 2 weeks, i think we'll be fine, since i'm going to have her work on it this weekend. we didn't have the luxury of a home computer and the infinite information of the internet when i was 9.

so i've become that mom. the mom that really works on the school project with input from dot, asking her 'which one of these?' or 'how do you want this?'. then i do most of the manual work. i made the pioneer wagon out of a shoebox and popsicle sticks, the top hat with life size eagle head made of styrofoam, felt, and polymer clay, etc.

the thing is, the school always pounds it into our heads as parents to be strongly involved in our kids' work. finding the balance of how involved in this project should i be? teachers don't want the kids turning in crappy projects, but they know when a parent has done the entire project and the child turns it in. so dot will be handwriting all entries in her notebook, even if her handwriting is atrocious. i will refrain from printing everything out after tirelessly formatting it so the text perfectly lines up on the lines on the paper. nope, not me. presentation is what i will focus on, and she will focus on information. my mom worked at a stationery store when i was growing up, so i had the best folders and binders and lamination (and atrocious handwriting). thanks, mom.

doppelganger

so this looks exactly like my brother (except for the ear). but this came out of the ikea catalog. weird!

a little more vampire humor

tax evasion? hide in forks.

just getting another few projects out of the way

this is the cullen wristband that i made for my husband who will be emmett cullen for my vampire halloween party. this and amber contacts are the key pieces of his costume. i printed out the crest, cut it out and placed it on this setting, covering it with a paper mosaic medium to seal it in.

i borrowed this idea from my friend, tink. i thought it was so cute, and a more compact way to store my pins.

love potion #13, made from mandrakes. and an a-1 bottle.

homemade blood is just elmer's and red and purple soap dye and food coloring. when the glue dries, it won't be so milky - more like the drips on the outside.

getting tired of your boring wardrobe?

dye it!

~

i have a brown dress that had a white, leafy design. i wanted a new dress, but spent my money on other things. i bought some pink dye for $2, and now my dress is brown and pink. cute!

~

i got a salmon-colored jean jacket at target on clearance for $7. not my favorite color. a box of wine dye and viola! great jean jacket in a rich claret color.

~

got some items from goodwill? dye them. they're all yours, now.

~

don't be afraid of dyeing. it just takes a washer and 1 cup of salt. results are very consistent, unless you're going from 1 light color to another. remember your color wheel. colors across from each other will not combine well. light green to light pink equals a muddy brownish color. go for something much darker. it's fun to peek in the washer and see your 'new' items in a fun color.

~

and buying those clearance items that look good on you, but aren't necessarily the right color is no longer an issue.

~

dye it!

and now for other news...

okay, so my last post was, well, whatever. i was just starting to get better.
i finished dot's halloween costume. sherlock holmes. i will take a pic of her when she gets home and post it. post haste. i got the idea from the martha stewart halloween issue.
~
any ideas for my hair? remember: victorian vampire.

a look into the life of...

i watched a 5 year-old movie today. alfie. when it came out, i thought, 'a movie about an irresistible british guy romping through all the beds in new york. somehow portrayed as a light-hearted movie about what is so wrong with our culture. illustrating how sex affects women and not men at all.'
~

then i watched it today. yes, i came in about 45 minutes into it and missed 2 key relationships of the story. but you know what? he was actually the most miserable person in the whole movie. that in conjunction with what we know has happened in jude law's real life since this movie...

~

alfie is always looking for the next best thing that will walk into his life. when things seem to be getting too committal - he bolts. when he finally realizes that the one he wants is - wait for it - old susan sarandon, he finds her with another.

~

'what does he have that i don't!?!?' alfie screams.

'he's younger.' she replies. this destroys him.

in the end he is alone and unhappy. and i think, 'what a depressing movie.'

~

finally someone lets us in on what might actually be going on in the head of the confirmed bachelor. he eventually finds fault in all the women he's been with, yet finds himself alone and unfulfilled.

~

i've seen him in this sort of character before. in a.i., he was gigolo joe. in the holiday, he's the swinging bachelor with the secret life of single, widower dad who doesn't bring anyone home to meet his daughters. in real life, his marriage gets broken up by his inability to resist the dowdy nanny. his wife was sienna miller! if she can't keep him, no one can. what is his problem? he's been led to believe that his looks, fame, looks, money, and his looks make it okay to do whatever (or whomever) he wants. he deserves it. why should he be held to the standards of ordinary mortals? he's bigger than that. he's a superstar.
~

looks aren't everything. alfie even says this in the movie. if i were married to a guy with movie star good looks, i would be nervous that he knew it, and might feel he could do better than me.

~

a man's ego and a woman's insecurity. it's a deadly cocktail that tastes of bitter regret.

~

~

this claritin really clarifies the brain.

sickness and disappointment

we are all sick. dot has it the worst today, but the three of us are sinus-miserable. dot and i are supposed to go to night of joy this weekend. we were supposed to get to meet jars of clay because i bought the 'special, limited edition' cd. and now i find out that they aren't doing a meet & greet at night of joy. which means i will be going to another concert of theirs in 2010, so i can use my pass.

on the up side of things, i did win a trip to boise, idaho. another concert. and i ordered my costume elements for my halloween party, figured out what to do for my kids' costumes, and my hubby's. he always gets the last minute planning with his non-costumes.

my party theme this year is vampyrs through the ages. any and all forms of vampires are welcome.

on monday, i started a somewhat extreme 'diet' and i've lost 3 pounds already. that's cool.

my rose-coloured view of new york

gives some color to the flesh.

wind-blown

this is my absolute favorite. i think i'll get a large print of this.

those lazy, crazy, hazy days of summer.